Hell explained by chemistry

Man is this funny

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,th en the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God"

THE STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

An old one, Derrick.  My father (Penn 1950) had a similar example, in that it was demonstrated that hell is composed of one universal temperature, as if there was a difference in temperatures from place to place, some enterprising engineer dwelling there would have found a way to use the temperature gradient to air condition the place.

Well, it's a new one for some of us! That was great, kind of like the philosophy final question of "Why?" and the answer of "Why Not?" or "Because" etc

My favorite probably made up college story has to do with a Junior in college taking an exam.

During this final exam, the professor was not present, rather he had a TA watching the class.  When the time was up for the test, the TA announced the time was up, and everyone should hand in their papers now.  A line was formed in front of the desk as students were handing in their exams one by one and leaving.  All the students were on this line with the exception of our hero, who continued to furiously work on getting his answers into the blue book. 

As the last of the students left the room finally the dedicated young man came to the front of the class to hand in his test.  The TA had a grave look on his face and told the student he was going to get a zero on the test.  The Junior demanded an explaination, to which the TA replied that the student had continued working fifteen minutes after the time was up for the test.  The young man was outraged!!

  "Do you know who I am? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?!?!?"  Shouted the student.  The TA, taken aback this simply, and cautiously replied, "No, I do not."

With that the student exclaimed "Good!", then shoved his test in the middle of the stack on the desk, knocked them all to the floor and ran out!!!

The student recieved a C+ on his paper, while not the best, was much better than a zero.

Then there's the one about the 4 college students who missed an exam because they had partied the night before and overslept.  They went to the prof and explained that they had gone to do a good deed for someone someplace far away and had gotten a flat tire and were unable to get back in time for the exam and would the prof let them take a make-up.  The prof agreed, and put each student in a separate room.  The make-up had one question, "Which tire?"

in refrence to the engineer and airconditioning hell.. my mother claims she will be the only one there who has the airconditioned office (she's always kvetching bout being cold)

2) very good der. i heard this one a while ago.. and it never ceases to entertain.

3) as for the philosophy exam with the answer being "why/why not" ectectect..

my philosophy final senior year in university the professor was not there. he had placed his chair upn his desk/table and written on the chalk board "Proove this chair does not exist" while all of my clas mates sat down and begn scribbling away furiously in their little blue essay books... I sat there for a few moments. penned one sentence. filled out the cover of my book as required and letf to the astonishment of the class.

my essay

"What Chair?"

I got an A+

nice one, Alex. I would totally pull a move like that lol

In HS physics we were given a question asking us to us a barometer to determine the height of a building.  The "proper" answer was to measure the height at the top and the base of the building and figure the height.  My solution was to drop the barometer from the top and time the drop and multiply  X 9.8M/sec sq.

Gary Hudes said he would offer his barometer to the building super in return for a look at the blueprints.  He and I got full credit.