A Bard's Request
- Sindarion
- Premium Member
- "I hope you all enjoy iambic heptameter."
- Posts: 261
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14 Feb 2018 19:57 #1
by Sindarion (Steven SA)
~ Knight Morgan "Sindarion" Sinclair
[strike]Vagabond[/strike] Harper
OOG:
Steven Sebastian Amore
A Bard's Request was created by Sindarion (Steven SA)
Anyone know any good jokes?
~ Knight Morgan "Sindarion" Sinclair
[strike]Vagabond[/strike] Harper
OOG:
Steven Sebastian Amore
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- Captain Cade Tanwyn
- Senior Member
- Posts: 153
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14 Feb 2018 20:09 #2
by Captain Cade Tanwyn (Cade Tanwyn)
Co-founder Tanwyn Trading
Captain Cade Tanwyn of The Night Harrier
Author of the Pirate Accords founded in 1217
OOG: Andy, New Player Marshal
Replied by Captain Cade Tanwyn (Cade Tanwyn) on topic A Bard's Request
What sort of bug is good at banking?
Co-founder Tanwyn Trading
Captain Cade Tanwyn of The Night Harrier
Author of the Pirate Accords founded in 1217
OOG: Andy, New Player Marshal
- Nalick
- Platinum Member
- In the place where everything changes, but nothing ever does.
- Posts: 2261
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14 Feb 2018 20:46 #3
by Nalick (NalickDeMarche)
_________________
OOG -- Jeff Balla
Card Team
Kitchen Staff
Replied by Nalick (NalickDeMarche) on topic A Bard's Request
Travancian military strategy.
C.H.
C.H.
_________________
OOG -- Jeff Balla
Card Team
Kitchen Staff
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- Sergei Petsho
- Elite Member
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14 Feb 2018 21:32 #4
by Sergei Petsho (Bran MacInnes)
"What do you take me for? Some kind of big damn hero?"
Sergei Petsho, Voivode and Steward of Inovar, Owner and Masseur Extraordinaire of Magic Hands Massage.
"What, it's for my research, I swear!"
Nigel Whitworth, Gentleman Apothecary
"Here, kid, suck on this and shut up for a while."
Aengus MacAengus Hesperus, Professional Old Person
OOG: Chris Zipeto
Storyteller
Replied by Sergei Petsho (Bran MacInnes) on topic A Bard's Request
Two nuns are walking down the street.
One walks into a bar.
The other ducks.
-Aengus
One walks into a bar.
The other ducks.
-Aengus
"What do you take me for? Some kind of big damn hero?"
Sergei Petsho, Voivode and Steward of Inovar, Owner and Masseur Extraordinaire of Magic Hands Massage.
"What, it's for my research, I swear!"
Nigel Whitworth, Gentleman Apothecary
"Here, kid, suck on this and shut up for a while."
Aengus MacAengus Hesperus, Professional Old Person
OOG: Chris Zipeto
Storyteller
The following user(s) said Thank You: Mantel (sigma-j)
- Sindarion
- Premium Member
- "I hope you all enjoy iambic heptameter."
- Posts: 261
- Thank Yous: 318
14 Feb 2018 23:53 #5
by Sindarion (Steven SA)
~ Knight Morgan "Sindarion" Sinclair
[strike]Vagabond[/strike] Harper
OOG:
Steven Sebastian Amore
Replied by Sindarion (Steven SA) on topic A Bard's Request
That was the most painful joke I've ever heard, bar none.
~ Knight Morgan "Sindarion" Sinclair
[strike]Vagabond[/strike] Harper
OOG:
Steven Sebastian Amore
The following user(s) said Thank You: Midori Suarez (krykit)
- brik
- Senior Member
- whatever
- Posts: 203
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15 Feb 2018 00:21 #6
by brik (sonya)
oog - sonya m.
Replied by brik (sonya) on topic A Bard's Request
Do you know how much pirate's corn costs?
...
A buck an ear!
---Brik
...
A buck an ear!
---Brik
oog - sonya m.
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- Sindarion
- Premium Member
- "I hope you all enjoy iambic heptameter."
- Posts: 261
- Thank Yous: 318
15 Feb 2018 18:56 #7
by Sindarion (Steven SA)
~ Knight Morgan "Sindarion" Sinclair
[strike]Vagabond[/strike] Harper
OOG:
Steven Sebastian Amore
Replied by Sindarion (Steven SA) on topic A Bard's Request
It costs a whole deer for an ear?
Looks like I better practice making doe eyes at the local merchants.
Looks like I better practice making doe eyes at the local merchants.
~ Knight Morgan "Sindarion" Sinclair
[strike]Vagabond[/strike] Harper
OOG:
Steven Sebastian Amore
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- Ephrem
- Premium Member
- Lux et lex, fiat iustitia.
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15 Feb 2018 21:02 #8
by Ephrem (bamore62)
Father Ephrem
Primus of the Church of Light in Travance
the Heart of Valos
OOG: Bryan Amore
Replied by Ephrem (bamore62) on topic A Bard's Request
Sindarion once again fawning at the local merchants.
Father Ephrem
Primus of the Church of Light in Travance
the Heart of Valos
OOG: Bryan Amore
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- Ashley-Lynn Chrzaszcz
- Senior Member
- Duty, Honor, and Truth
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16 Feb 2018 13:08 #9
by Ashley-Lynn Chrzaszcz (RavynAeronwen)
Main: Ravyn Aeronwen, Constable of Albriar, Vassal of Albriar, Knight Commander of the Order of the Sagewardens, Commander of the Sagewood Guard, and Professor of Bardics at Darkwood Academy
Alt: Vespertine Crimson, Owner of the Crimson Tide and Entertainer for the Blackbird
OOG: Ashley-Lynn Chrzaszcz
Replied by Ashley-Lynn Chrzaszcz (RavynAeronwen) on topic A Bard's Request
Deeply exhaling indicates a negative mood – at least that’s what sighentists say.
Main: Ravyn Aeronwen, Constable of Albriar, Vassal of Albriar, Knight Commander of the Order of the Sagewardens, Commander of the Sagewood Guard, and Professor of Bardics at Darkwood Academy
Alt: Vespertine Crimson, Owner of the Crimson Tide and Entertainer for the Blackbird
OOG: Ashley-Lynn Chrzaszcz
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- Kaiva
- Junior Member
- “It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
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17 Feb 2018 02:16 #10
by Kaiva (Kaiva Malakai)
Replied by Kaiva (Kaiva Malakai) on topic A Bard's Request
Two peanuts were walking down the path. One was a salted.
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- Burkhart Jarlson
- Senior Member
- A precious object without the strength to protect it is easily taken. Strength without something to protect is easily wasted.
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17 Feb 2018 02:23 #11
by Burkhart Jarlson (steel_enigma)
_________________________________________________________________________________
OOG: Josh Leib
Main:
Burkhart Jarlson
Son of the Heargen Clan
Blood of the Dragoons
Shaman of the North
Alt:
Fen the Fun Faun
Musical Satyr
Available for Bars, Parties, Shows, and Personal Concerts
Accepts Gold, Gems, Ale, and kisses from beautiful women (just don't tell my wife)
Replied by Burkhart Jarlson (steel_enigma) on topic A Bard's Request
A northerner just made his way south from his tribe up north. He sits in a bar, drinking ale and telling the bar wench about the different furs he is wearing and how he gained them.
The wench points to the large pelt on his back and asks "what's that fur?"
"That was a bear that attacked me on my first night away from home. It wanted to eat me, i ended up eating it."
She pointed to the matching furs wrapped around his leg and asked "what's that fur?"
"That was a wolf that tried to take the food from my camp. It didn't get very far."
She pointed to the rabbit pelt hanging from the front of his belt and asked "what's that fur?"
With a smirk he looked up at her and said "Darling, you meet me in my room with another bottle of ale and i'll be happy to show you what that's fur."
The wench points to the large pelt on his back and asks "what's that fur?"
"That was a bear that attacked me on my first night away from home. It wanted to eat me, i ended up eating it."
She pointed to the matching furs wrapped around his leg and asked "what's that fur?"
"That was a wolf that tried to take the food from my camp. It didn't get very far."
She pointed to the rabbit pelt hanging from the front of his belt and asked "what's that fur?"
With a smirk he looked up at her and said "Darling, you meet me in my room with another bottle of ale and i'll be happy to show you what that's fur."
_________________________________________________________________________________
OOG: Josh Leib
Main:
Burkhart Jarlson
Son of the Heargen Clan
Blood of the Dragoons
Shaman of the North
Alt:
Fen the Fun Faun
Musical Satyr
Available for Bars, Parties, Shows, and Personal Concerts
Accepts Gold, Gems, Ale, and kisses from beautiful women (just don't tell my wife)
- Ninnyhammer
- Junior Member
- Life is short and pleasures few and holed the ship and drowned the crew.
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17 Feb 2018 19:34 #12
by Ninnyhammer (Anna Collins)
Replied by Ninnyhammer (Anna Collins) on topic A Bard's Request
There are many breeds of humor, all of which I won't attempt to list. That being said...
There's puns,
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in front of a door?" "Matt"
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake?" "Bob"
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole?" "Phil"
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a lake?" "Bob"
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a hole?" "Phil"
Dark humor,
"Mommy, why are we pushing the carriage off the cliff?"
"Be quiet, you'll wake your father.”
"Be quiet, you'll wake your father.”
Story-based humor,
A man is careening through the winding streets of Bordertown in his carriage when an officer of the law slows him and pulls him to the side. He asks the man if he’s aware of how fast he’d been urging his horse when the man professes to be blind drunk. “Well sir that’s just untenable,” says the officer, “I’ll have to put you in a cell for the night.” “Certainly,” says the man, “so long as you don’t tell any one about all the drugs I’ve smuggled in my carriage.” “Sir!” the officer exclaims, “I can’t believe you’d admit to such a crime!” “Well to be honest officer, I’m more concered about the man I have inside, bound by the hands and feet.” “That’s it,” says the officer, “I’ll have to summon my superior to sort you out.”
Half an hour later, as the superior officer is inspecting the carriage he says to the culprit, “My subordinate officer reported a number of offences, but I’ve found no drugs, no bound man, and by all accounts you appear to be perfectly sober.”
And the arrested man smiles and says, “I bet he told you I had been driving my carriage too fast, too.”
Half an hour later, as the superior officer is inspecting the carriage he says to the culprit, “My subordinate officer reported a number of offences, but I’ve found no drugs, no bound man, and by all accounts you appear to be perfectly sober.”
And the arrested man smiles and says, “I bet he told you I had been driving my carriage too fast, too.”
Antagonistic humor,
"Why do dwarves have such big nostrils?"
"Because they have big fingers."
"Because they have big fingers."
"What do you throw to a drowning Khitanese lord?"
"His wife and children!"
(On second thought, this really goes over better with Coast Haveners.
I once saw a duke from Faust nearly choke on a chicken bone over this one.
Pity that he managed to spit it back up.)
"His wife and children!"
(On second thought, this really goes over better with Coast Haveners.
I once saw a duke from Faust nearly choke on a chicken bone over this one.
Pity that he managed to spit it back up.)
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- Aleister
- Administrator
- Posts: 3950
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18 Feb 2018 02:33 #13
by Aleister (Aleister)
Lord Admiral Aleister Demirosz, the Phoenix
* * * * * * * *
-Steve Oros
Assistant Director
Replied by Aleister (Aleister) on topic A Bard's Request
Where does General Magnus keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
One turns to the other and says, "Man, it is hot in here..."
The other turns back and says "HOLY GODS A TALKING MUFFIN"
A horse walks into a bar. The patrons calmly and quickly exit the premises, spotting the potential danger of the situation.
Van Kainen
_______________________
In his sleevies.
Two muffins are sitting in an oven.
One turns to the other and says, "Man, it is hot in here..."
The other turns back and says "HOLY GODS A TALKING MUFFIN"
A horse walks into a bar. The patrons calmly and quickly exit the premises, spotting the potential danger of the situation.
Van Kainen
_______________________
Lord Admiral Aleister Demirosz, the Phoenix
* * * * * * * *
-Steve Oros
Assistant Director
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- Fenris Nattulv
- New Member
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27 Feb 2018 10:06 #14
by Fenris Nattulv (dhaas987)
- Fenris Nattulv
-Alt: Jonathan Carter, Minstrel of the Road
OOG: Daniel Haas
Replied by Fenris Nattulv (dhaas987) on topic A Bard's Request
The numbers 1, 3, 5, And 7 wall into a bar. The barkeep says “Well, that’s odd.”
-Vlad
-Vlad
- Fenris Nattulv
-Alt: Jonathan Carter, Minstrel of the Road
OOG: Daniel Haas
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- Narcis
- Administrator
- "For every living person there are generations of dead. Which realm would you rather rule?"
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27 Feb 2018 11:01 #15
by Narcis (ChrisR)
OOG:Chris R.
Storyteller / Marshal
Replied by Narcis (ChrisR) on topic A Bard's Request
OOG:Chris R.
Storyteller / Marshal
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- Midori Suarez
- Senior Member
- Posts: 241
- Thank Yous: 246
03 Mar 2018 10:13 #16
by Midori Suarez (krykit)
OOG: Kate Iannacone
IG: Midori Suarez, Mercy's Daughter
Replied by Midori Suarez (krykit) on topic A Bard's Request
When I see a Wendigo, that's how I know Wendigo away.
OOG: Kate Iannacone
IG: Midori Suarez, Mercy's Daughter
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