"Guys Rules"

What do you think guys? A friend emailed this list to me and since we have lists for women I thought Id throw this on there....

The Guy's Rules


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or changing of the tides. LET IT BE.

4. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

5. Crying is blackmail.


6. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!!!

7. Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

8. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

10. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
11. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you angry or sad, we meant the other one.

12. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, do it yourself.

13. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials!

14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!

15. All real men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

16. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

17. If we ask what is wrong, and you say “nothing”, we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.

18. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

20. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

23. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Where to start. 

#6 should be first!
Never say #8. 
10-12 are so true
Ditto for 17-19.

I hate golf, but the senteimtn is correct.  My DS&WW is as mcuh into sports as I am.


"The awarding of the Nobel Peace Prize to Henry Kissinger made political satire obsolete."  Tom Lehrer

I agree.  Enough said.

#2 I tell her all the time, put it back the way you found it!

I loose the man game?

How to Impress a Woman
  Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her,
  Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her,
  Smile at her, Laugh with her,
  Cry with her, Cuddle with her,
  Shop with her, Give her jewelry,
  Buy her flowers, Hold her hand,
  Write love letters to her,
  Go to the end of the earth and back for her.

How to Impress a Man
Show up naked.
Bring beer.

you should add

# 24. When we ask "What would you like to eat?" and you Say "I dont know" its doesnt help us choose a place to eat. We are fine with any place as long as it has beer and steak

#25. If you ask if we farted and we say "No, the dog probally did" he did, even if the mutt isnt around.

you should add

# 24. When we ask "What would you like to eat?" and you Say "I dont know" its doesnt help us choose a place to eat. We are fine with any place as long as it has beer and steak

I have a solution to this one that's worked many times in the past.

When confronted with the "I don't care" line, respond with "Well, what don't you want to eat?" This places all the focus back on them and prohibits you from going somewhere they never wanted to.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have used that one, trust me. Generally its how I start the conversation.

"so I know you dont know what you want to eat,  so Ill ask, what DONT you want to eat?"

my response to the proposed #24, once uttered by my now Ex-girlfriend (no wonder) was "Hooters"

you girls say you want us to be honest.. and yet you get upset when we are honest..

The best answer to a semi-loaded question I ever heard was uttered by Mike Ruttle (the taller of the two guys who cut the pig) when asked by his wife (whom he met while both were attending UDEL) where he would have wanted to attend school besides Delaware.  "Any school where I would have met you would have been fine."

Looks like that whole list could have been summed up by #4...

Though why get over it when it's far easier to find a more agreeable lass?


Boys are D-Bags... get over it 

Way to post a list of Women Rules in a thread called Guys Rules.

Obviously Alex, you have a long way to go.  <Michelle left out the real number one rule (it was a test of our manly powers of recollection, no doubt) which is:

#1  The woman makes the rules

followed by

#2  She can change them at any moment

The only thing that could possibly salvage you at this time, lad, is to grovel and apologize.  I also think chocolates would be appropriate.

Taoism for guys

"The fool concerns himself with the 99 who say "no".
While the wise man comforts himself within the one who says "yes"."

im sorry?

Obviously Alex, you have a long way to go.  <Michelle left out the real number one rule (it was a test of our manly powers of recollection, no doubt) which is:

#1  The woman makes the rules

followed by

#2  She can change them at any moment

The only thing that could possibly salvage you at this time, lad, is to grovel and apologize.  I also think chocolates would be appropriate.

It's that attitude that makes what you said correct.

::sigh::  Grasshopper, you are so young.  These rules pre-date our even knowing of them.  It has taken generations of manly investigation to come up with even this little.

There is only one response:

warning: Disturbing images involved: