Wotcher,
It rather seems to be the case that some scallywag has taken it upon themselves to steal my tools from me.
While I am all for the sharing of knowledge and skills (indeed, I should hope that the current owner of my toolbag is at least finding good use for its contents!) there is a courteous way to go about the procurement of necessary equipment - should it arise that someone were to have need of my inventory, for example, I'd have gladly arranged for a temporary loan.
As such, it should be clear that this sort of tomfoolery is both unnecessary and improper. I've already lost no less than three 2" spanners to the thieving hands of my assailants, and think it about time to bring this business to a close.
To that end: I'd like it to be publicly known that, should any person have need of my tools or devices, they are invited to approach me to negotiate a loan. Rates are both reasonable and negotiable, and I will be glad to accept services in stead of monetary payment from those in possession of more modest personal estates.
As a final addendum, should any person wish to return any of my stolen tools to me - regardless of the means by which they procured them - I would consider any grievances forgiven, and can offer a bounty equivalent to several times the value of the tool(s) returned. I'd be particularly glad to be reunited with one such tool - a steel 2" spanner, of Londwynian manufacture, with the monogram "FRG" machined into the shaft, and possessing of great sentimental worth to myself. For this item, I am willing to offer a bounty of no less than thirty gold pieces, or a commission for a contraption built to the finder's specifications.
For Queen and Country,
